Please someone tell me what to believe...

"We were thought to become cynics, to become skeptical, to second-guess everything we were told. to peel back the layers of every statement, looking for a loophole or hidden trap. to analyze every word to death, to distrust people, to become the kind of people other people hate. indeed, we were learning to think like lawyers."

Ivy Briefs: True Tales of A Neurotic Law Student

Hopelessly, this is what we've got

“You need to have a little faith, not everyone you love is going to leave you.”

The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants 2

  

It's easy to say, "have faith", it's so difficult to actually, have faith. Faith might seem like it stems from the logical reasoning and judgment of one's character to be faithful. But it actually is just simply, a leap of faith. Humans can err, humans are precisely humans not saints, because they err. The best of people err, the most loyal and kindest of people err, so what do we have to hold on to then? The truth is nothing. Just that risk, that hope, that leap, of faith for us all to take.

 

  

  

Patience is a virtue.

My child, though you may plan all things and arrange everything with the greatest care,

you will still have many opportunities to exercise the virtue of patience.

You cannot eliminate the unexpected, the unforeseen, and the unavoidable.

In many cases your best remedy and weapon will be an intelligent patience 

with yourself as well as others.

Every man has his daily share of troubles and trials. 

Sometimes it may be bodily pain and discomfort.

At other times it may be mental or spiritual suffering, 

some annoyance, disappointment, or anxiety.

Sometimes you may feel that I have deserted you. 

Then again, you may have to bear misunderstandings, misinterpretations,

or even bad from your neighbor. 

In fact, there are times when you are a burden and a bother to yourself.

Everybody would like to be free of these trials, but it cannot be.

They are a part of your earthly life. 

Wherever you turn, you will always find My cross in one form or another.

Patience will help you to bear it more easily.

This virtue will help you keep your soul at peace,

so that you may continue to walk toward Heaven in time of trials.

An excerpt from My Daily Bread.

I prayed for some relief and answers to the trials that are ongoing and after the prayer, I found this passage. It's inspiring and enlightening, much comfort to my woes. And now I know for sure I'm not forsaken. In haste this broken heart will not heal. In haste I will not gain back security or the stable ground I'm desperately searching for. In patience, I will find it, or build it. And with love, I hope we'll make it through.

  

  

Strictly Pancakes

Brunch @ Strictly Pancakes. The only place in Singapore dedicated to pancakes. Did I mention what a huge fan of pancakes I am? I dream of checking out Pancake Parlour in Melbourne but that can wait cos Singapore has its very own! The menu has a list of savoury pancakes or sweet dessert-like pancakes. And surprise surprise! Savoury pancakes don't taste too bad after all. Even if the combination might seem a bit odd. Customisations are also available, and you can chose everything from the number of pancakes, to the type of butter and additional side dishes! Yumm. 

We both chose to customise our pancakes and add a few side dishes to it! We loved the corn beef addition to our pancakes and that's a must-order if you love corned beef! :) Finished up all the pancakes, butter and syrup till the very last bite and we were both pretty stuffed at the end of brunch. It's also quite a nice place to unwind, especially during the weekends. Definitely one of my favourite brunch places to check out!

44A Prinsep Street

Singapore 188674

Lose my mind

The good days are over.

Boys and girls it's time to wake up.

  

When you hit me you hit me hard.

“I won’t lose hope, I won’t give up, even though things get tough. I get so scared sometimes, I lose my way and I lose my mind. When it feels like there’s no where to turn, I’ll look inside and try to learn, I know I’m not alone. I’ve just got to find my way home."

- Diana Muniz

Every day I hurt a little inside, remnants of the pain lingers in my veins. Most times I feel like withdrawing from everything, everyone, and just be in my bedroom to ride the pain out. Its a kind of pain that cuts and scar you for a long time to come. As hard as I try, I can't forget it or shove it aside just like that. The very memory and mention of it plunges me deeper and set me back on square 1 of recovery. It's gonna be a painful process and I wish I can be stronger beyond anything I have ever been.

Have you ever been thrown off your feet into insecurity, ever had no control on the fate of things and the pain it caused you but you have to sit there and get bruised every time it decides to deal you a bad hand. You can't stop it from hurting you. You wish the person you love could stop the pain from getting you, but you realise he's as helpless as you are. That tears both of you apart knowing he cant alleviate you from the pain. 

I wish I could get away from everyone, but I realise withdrawal is of no use to a broken heart. You need the support of everyone to get back up and get over this. I hope love will heal and take us through.

  

I need a place to rest my head.

Despite my facade, and how I'm trying to face each day with strength that I know is far beyond me. Deep down, I feel like my heart needs to recuperate. I need to gain back the confidence I once had. That I can do anything and everything with your support and your love. I want a sanctuary, need a sanctuary to go to this weekend. I want to be anywhere but here. 

I'm your worst wake up call from hell

I am a cynic and a skeptic. I believe that humans are selfish and never truly altruistic. I've learnt to distrust most people in my life, and kept two hands full of them close to my heart. I've learnt to realise that most people are not worth my kindness and me going all out for. Kindness never begets kindness in this cruel society. I've seen enough of human's ugly nature and that will only allow me to have a stronger defence wall around myself. I only give hope in realistic situations, and not plant false beliefs and ideals when I obviously know its not gonna work out. Sigh, thank God the boy is on the same line as me. I can't deal when you're a unrealistic optimist.

Naivety is for kids. I'm your worst wake up call from hell.


  

Love fool

"He watched helplessly as she crumbled with things he inadvertently caused."

Somewhere in the world

Happy New Year!

In a blink of the eye, it's 2011. A brand new year with new beginnings. The holidays are soon coming to an end and school's gonna rule my life once more. 2010 has been an extremely eventful year. I made my first overseas trip without my family to HK. I met and fell in love with a special someone. I started my journey for a degree. I got into Female's 50 Gorgeous People! I got a good internship. I had a lot of highs and lows this year, I felt like my mental self was on a strain... but all in all, I have never felt happier, never felt so right, never felt so much fulfillment in life. 

2011 is gonna be much scarier. I've got to be stronger than how I was in 2010. I've got to learn to let go, learn to be more appreciative, learn to be a better, and more supportive girlfriend to the love of my life, a better daughter to my parents and a better child of God. I'm going to have to be more motivated with school and start pushing boundaries. With 2011 comes new challenges... daunting events are already up soon. Events that require me to have immense amount of faith, grace and trust to get through. There's nothing I can do if life is up against me. I just need to pray, and pray, and pray. 

  “At the end of the day, you either focus on what’s tearing you apart, 
or what’s holding you together.”