I am not happy at all. Actually, I haven’t been happy for a very long time. I mean sure I do feel really happy when I hang out with my friends, my girlfriends, I’m not faking it, but those only get me on a temporary high, like alcohol. And when I get home and retire to my bed, all I feel is this gaping hole, this emptiness within me. What I want to feel is happiness from the bottom of my heart. Happiness that would make me glow. Happiness that would shut off every negativity in my life and show me that this is worth living for. I’m not feeling it and its honestly making me scared, beyond my wildest dreams. It feels like I can never find that sort of happiness again.
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