“You see, you closed your eyes. That was the difference. Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too — even when you’re in the dark. Even when you’re falling.”
I'm caught between the girl I want to be, and the girl I really am. I want to be strong, unbeatable, infallible, independent, and not let emotions rule over logic or try to affect me in any way. But I really am vulnerable, emotional, needy, insecure and your average girl next door. Despite it all, I am working towards who I want to be. The girl you see now definitely isn't the girl you knew from the past. But sometimes I wonder, why do I try so hard to not be human? Why am I trying so hard to not feel so much? It used to feel like its okay to be all that I really am, but it doesn't seem to be that way anymore.
When you're someone who tend to gravitate towards feeling a lot about things, you will always tend to let those feelings rule you. It becomes nasty, it attacks from the inside. The kind of pain that you can't do something about, simply because your heart is the one that's aching. Not that I don't feel such pain anymore, but rather, I try to let go of a lot of things that I abhor.
I've got to be better than this.
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