We'll find our way.

“He didn’t say anything. Maybe there wasn’t anything to say. Instead, he wrapped his arms around me again, only this time he guided my cheek onto his chest and ran his hand over the back of my head, clumsy but comforting. I closed my eyes and listened to the thud of his heart until mine matched pace with his. Finally, he rested his cheek on top of my head and whispered, ‘We don’t have time to be sad.’”

  

Marchin' On

“I’m talking about the ones who, for whatever reason, are as much a part of you as your own soul. Their place in your heart is tender; a bruise of longing, a pulse of unfinished business. Just hearing their names pushes and pulls at you in a hundred ways, and when you try to define those hundred ways, describe them even to yourself, words are useless”

  

I've got you

There isn’t really a name for it but it’s the kind of thing where all you need is to hear them breathing next to you in order to feel safe from the world, from yourself, from the sound of your breaking heart echoing underneath your ribs. It’s the kind of thing where nothing else seems to matter but surrendering yourself to that moment, lying inside the nook of his arm, enclosed by the warmth of his body.

  
  

Don't ask for the world if you can't handle the world.

"It’s like a ferris wheel, this thing we have, where the sight of it is so magnificent and so romantic, but my fear for the height of it overrides the idea of even wanting to be inside it. Then I remember how lovely it is to be that high and how the view from the top is almost always worth it. And it makes it never want to come down again."

It's so amazing how someone's words can be a perfect match with my feelings.

I have a few issues that upon the mere mention of it, pushes my emotional button and sets me thinking a lot more than I ought to. It's just like a landmine. But my mines are all carefully placed in certain areas which you'd really need to think twice before attempting to even cross the area. I shall not be held responsible if anything happens.

So today, my lecturer brought up this issue about what's important and urgent in your life right now. What are your goals, he asked. Everyone answered about wanting to be a fashion buyer, a merchandiser, and etc. Everything that was pertaining to our career because this is afterall an academic class. He then questioned, why didn't anyone mentioned about starting up a family, getting married? Everyone was stumped. No one ever thought about it being a goal in life. 

It might seem silly to some, to say that their lifetime goal, is to find a soulmate. I believe in today's context, such a goal is actually worth something. It could be actually be quite an accomplishment, judging from the break-up rates, divorce rates, etc. Which is making me think quite a bit because no one wants to climb all the way up the corporate ladder and still end up lonely with no one to share that happiness with. That's just sad. 

It prompted me to think... what is it that I really want in life? What am I living for? My motivation of late has been on a dry spell and I just get by day by day, for the sake of getting it by. Lately it's been so. I wouldn't call it stress from school because whatever I am getting now, pales in comparison to the stress I get back in TP. I would say presently, I'm content, but whenever I want to look a step ahead, or even into the future, there's this unexplainable sadness that overwhelms. I feel like something's missing...

Closer to the edge

Hello school. Bye life.

I am on a major photo-lag, events lag, everything. School is draining me of such leisure time. The routines are beginning to kick in. And you know I don't do well with routines, they drive me up the wall. I've so many pretty pictures to share but no time to get them up. Either that or I'm doing a good job procrastinating.

I asked M if I've changed and became this person who's much stronger, and maybe quite a turn-off for men. He said "I guess so. I guess you're stronger now because you don't have a choice."