Don't ask for the world if you can't handle the world.

"It’s like a ferris wheel, this thing we have, where the sight of it is so magnificent and so romantic, but my fear for the height of it overrides the idea of even wanting to be inside it. Then I remember how lovely it is to be that high and how the view from the top is almost always worth it. And it makes it never want to come down again."

It's so amazing how someone's words can be a perfect match with my feelings.

I have a few issues that upon the mere mention of it, pushes my emotional button and sets me thinking a lot more than I ought to. It's just like a landmine. But my mines are all carefully placed in certain areas which you'd really need to think twice before attempting to even cross the area. I shall not be held responsible if anything happens.

So today, my lecturer brought up this issue about what's important and urgent in your life right now. What are your goals, he asked. Everyone answered about wanting to be a fashion buyer, a merchandiser, and etc. Everything that was pertaining to our career because this is afterall an academic class. He then questioned, why didn't anyone mentioned about starting up a family, getting married? Everyone was stumped. No one ever thought about it being a goal in life. 

It might seem silly to some, to say that their lifetime goal, is to find a soulmate. I believe in today's context, such a goal is actually worth something. It could be actually be quite an accomplishment, judging from the break-up rates, divorce rates, etc. Which is making me think quite a bit because no one wants to climb all the way up the corporate ladder and still end up lonely with no one to share that happiness with. That's just sad. 

It prompted me to think... what is it that I really want in life? What am I living for? My motivation of late has been on a dry spell and I just get by day by day, for the sake of getting it by. Lately it's been so. I wouldn't call it stress from school because whatever I am getting now, pales in comparison to the stress I get back in TP. I would say presently, I'm content, but whenever I want to look a step ahead, or even into the future, there's this unexplainable sadness that overwhelms. I feel like something's missing...