“It does not hit you until later. The fact that you were essentially dead does not register until you begin to come alove. Frostbite does not hurt until it starts to thaw. First it is numb. Then a shock of pain rips through the body. And then, every winter after, it aches.”
The highlight of my week thus far includes meeting up with a very old friend. It was nice, really, to catch up after so long. It's heartwarming especially because I'm really selective about the people I am close to, hence, I am acquaintances with many, bonded to only a handful. Sad, but true story there. J said my thinking has become a lot more matured, and also quipped that I am such a 'emo hero' these days. Also in our conversation included a lot of interesting issues raised which left me thinking.
Is the increase of age directly proportional to the increase of unhappiness? I think I am increasingly unhappy with each year I age. Maybe it's a baseless observation, but I wish I knew better. It is not school, though it does make it worst, its just my state of being that is not at an equilibrium. I really need to start finding things that I can find joy in doing, find what I'm missing in life right now. I think it's crazy. I'm only 20 and I'm so jaded.
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