Part of me

This simple "Are you Happy?" flowchart caught my eye some time back. Where do you stand? For me, I know I just have to keep doing whatever I'm doing. I'm worried, I fret a lot, I'm stressed and I'm pressured, but... I'm happy. Ultimately, that's where you'd want yourself to be. 

I'm the kind of free-spirited that won't shackle myself to something I dislike. If I can't go through life in a confined cubicle with dead-set hours and a monotonous lifestyle, I won't make myself do it. Well it's either my mental health or otherwise. I chose to keep my sanity. Keeping this sanity has a price to pay and sometimes it pushes me off the edge. I'm thankful to have G and my strong group of support system (girlfriends) to always have my back and help me up when I'm down. Every single one of them showed tremendous support when I chose to walk down an unconventional road. This is one road where I know I'd have to carve it out to get through it. Sure many others have gone down this path... but this still belongs to the minority and as I've mentioned - unconventional.

You'd think I have the support of the support system closest to me - my family. But I'd have to say, this has left me deeply hurt. If you're on my twitter, you'd probably have heard me ranting off a couple of times about my mom and her traditional mindset. I know she means well and would always want the best for me, but her best just isn't right for me. It's like fitting a circle into a square. Sure it fits, but right fit? I don't think so.

Very soon it'll not only be her question I'd be evading... it'll be relatives, classmates, acquaintances. I would expect people from our generation to be more understanding, but sometimes that's not the case. People expect you to go for it only if you've made it big, but what happens in-between? The process of building it up (which might be the most arduous emotionally and mentally) to get to the "I've made it big" stage. They forgot that to get up there, you'd need to work from the bottom. 

It's something close to my heart that I really need to get it out. (Sorry if it's very wordy) This is the time when I realised support & understanding could do wonders. Empathy is probably the word. It makes you feel like the next hurdle gets a little easier, the world gets a little less hard on you, and you feel invincible.

xx