I'm at this all time low at this point of my life. Take away the smiley exterior, and what you get is a girl who's entirely disappointed with herself. It's hard for anyone, just simply anyone to understand what I am going through. It's like doing so much, stretching my potential, going all out to do your very best for the Final Year Project, and suddenly you realise "your best" is not good enough.
Yesterday, it was major crunch time. I was rushing to and fro, level 1 - 5, multi-tasking trying to complete all that I had to submit tomorrow. I had Matthew come and help me with the cutting of the mininature clothes for my model. When he saw me panicking and frantically trying to complete my work, he said to me, "What were you doing yesterday night?!" I nearly wanted to break down and cry and yell at him all at the same time.
No one really sees how hard you try. No one cares about how hard you've work, how much effort you've put in, how many meals you've missed because you've been working so hard, rushing to places. No one sees it. They care only about the end product. So if you screw that up, you're screwed. It doesn't justify how much you've done, the end product is not great and there goes your efforts and your marks. The world is that unfair.
So if the one closest to me can't even see how hard I've work, who would?
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