Heartstrings

I don’t have a fear of commitment - I have a fear of abandonment. We all screw things up; I screw things up, especially with the people I love. I get needy, I get moody, I get distant, I want to be too close, I get confused. I don’t understand all of it but I keep pushing because I hope in this thing - the universe. There’s no way I’m the only person out there who wants something this bad. If I want it, someone else out there must, too.

Just get back up when it knocks you down.

There are some things we can spent our lives denying to ourselves and some that we ultimately can't run away from. Emotions, feelings, events. Have you thought about why we never once did try to face up to it? Is it the ugly truth behind it, or the painful consequences of dealing with it. Human beings run away from pain all the time. It takes a whole lot of courage and strength to deal with pain. And a whole lot more to face up to the truth. The undeniable truth. I just don't know if I'm strong enough.

Untrust us

Life is just like a game we play. There are rules. Rules you abide to win the game. Some, are just meant to be broken, and some, are meant to be twisted around with. There are strategies you can imply, people you can manipulate and play mind games with. Tricks and cheats that will aid your journey to victory. But, there is just one ultimate goal, and everyone's reaching for it. But only one, gets it.

Are you up for it?

Press on, hang on, it's gonna be okay.

HAHAHA. VOLDY FTW.

Fearless

Without lifting a finger, you brought down the wall I tried so hard to build.

"I start to feel like I can’t maintain the facade any longer, that I may just start to show through. And I wish I knew what was wrong. Maybe something about how stupid my whole life is. I don’t know. Why does the rest of the world put up with the hypocrisy, the need to put a happy face on sorrow, the need to keep on keeping on? I don’t know the answer, I know only that I can’t. I don’t want any more vicissitudes, I don’t want any more of this try, try again stuff. I just want out. I’ve had it. I am so tired. I am twenty and I am already exhausted."

- Elizabeth Wurtzel

Cry me a river.

You know. I really wish someone could give me a hug right now, right here. Let me lose myself in that embrace and cry my heart out. Don't speak, don't ask me what happened, don't ask me what's wrong. Just tell me, quietly, gently, that everything, is going to be okay.

For all the hours that I've faked a smile. Let me fall apart now.

Avalanche

TGIF! 

Some pretty food pictures to brighten up my otherwise dull day. I am about to embark on a 5-day work "week" that includes the weekends, which in other words means woe for the retail people. My 5-day work week is different from any of you normal people so don't judge my complains. If you want to challenge it, try stand for 8-10 hours a day, and serve customers that are sometimes too retarded for their own good. I am feeling some sort of work burn-out that ignites this reluctancy to return to work after an off-day. Please bear with my incessant whinings for a while :(

You can't deny you want the happy ending.

This is too cute to be true!

Baby I'm a million, your million dollar girl for sure.

I am into comfort food. Sure I try something new every now and then, but I'm pretty boring when it comes to choices. One thing you gotta know is, I absolutely love Aglio Olio. Extra plus points if it comes with bacon! And since I have tasted aglio olio from so many different places, standards for that dish is upped a notch! Barossa @ Esplanade hit the spot with the Bacon aglio olio! Except it came with a whole lot of veggies that I ignored, hee. The dessert was good too, apple pie with ice-cream, my favourite! It's been long since I've been to the Esplanade too. Its awesome how everything is now connected with the circle line. Not that it really has much of an impact from where I reside but it's gonna connect to a whole lot of cool places once less accessible.

And did y'all know, there's Harry's Bar at Tampines Grande?! Upper east siders let's go chill!

White flag.

"I feel like i’ve been caught up in a tornado of the all things disastrous and I’m stuck and I’m floating and I’m wishing I could just land with my two feet flat on the ground and find myself somewhere else, somewhere not here. I’m no longer looking to be home, I just want to be far far away in a land not my own, in a life not so broken, with a heart not so torn. It’s been a repeated motion of commotion around me and for some reason it won’t stop raining and my umbrella can’t hold or protect me the way a set of arms from the one I still long for would. and I don’t have the strength to go through this again and again, but I keep telling myself you do, you do, if you can make it through this, you can do anything you want to. but all I really want is to be en-wrapped by the sun and it’s warmth and its hope and its bright smile that it brings to thousands even when just seeing it peak over the cliffs or hills or sea. All I really want is to be happy. But happy is a way, not a destination.. still, it seems so far off from here, and i need to know how do I even get there? I need to know that I can get there. Please tell me how to get there."

Intuition is the best guess you can listen to.

I have always marveled at other people's ability to write their hearts out. I find it hard, for me to write with so much honesty, so much emotions attached. I read some tumblrs and am amazed at what they write, that I can relate to. I wish I could do that with more ease, but a lot of factors hold me back when I pen down truth in this open space. This is why, I jump and shift everywhere, I'm never anywhere. And I wish writing felt more like an everyday thing for me... I missed it. Back in the days where books are my best friends, words came to me just like that.

It only goes to show how much I keep within. How much I chose to tell people. How much do people want to hear. And how much I push away people who's listening. To each our own burden to carry, our own set of problems to worry about.

Thinking really gets me nowhere. I can think about a thousand and one possibilities how things can go fatally wrong or go beautifully right. Things are never certain and life brings us unexpected occurrences. I just can't put down a decision that could mean fencing things in or out. So for now, Que Sera Sera. 

Hello

Glee Cast

I’ve been alone with you inside my mind

And in my dreams I’ve kissed your lips a thousand times

I sometimes see you pass outside my door

Hello, is it me you’re looking for?

I can see it in your eyes

I can see it in your smile

You’re all I’ve ever wanted, (and) my arms are open wide

‘Cause you know just what to say

And you know just what to do

And I want to tell you so much, I love you …

I long to see the sunlight in your hair

And tell you time and time again how much I care

Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow

Hello, I’ve just got to let you know

‘Cause I wonder where you are

And I wonder what you do

Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you?

Tell me how to win your heart

For I haven’t got a clue

But let me start by saying, I love you …

Hello, is it me you’re looking for?

‘Cause I wonder where you are

And I wonder what you do

Are you somewhere feeling lonely or is someone loving you?

Tell me how to win your heart

For I haven’t got a clue

But let me start by saying … I love you