Hello 2012

2011 has been a year of many opportunities, many disappointments, more happiness, and definitely there was the sadness. Nonetheless, I'm ever so thankful for the people in my life, and the love that they have shown to me when I really needed it. Yup. This is the sad emotional reflection on the last day of 2011. But I don't want to dwell on the sad moments and memories, because well, they are sad. 

Here's to new beginnings, a new start in the new 2012. Here's to more opportunities that I'll do my best to grab and make good use of. Here's to us. To that love that we believe in. May we get stronger in love and strength, and overcome life's greatest obstacles with plenty of faith and trust.

Goodbye 2011. Hello 2012.

I know I'm absolutely dying to dedicate more time to this blog, penning down thoughts and putting up pictures to share. A new year's resolution then? :)

Tis the season to be jolly

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I hope everyone's having a splendid time this yuletide season. Tis the season to be happy. Forget your sorrows, forget the pain. Let the joy fill our hearts and make merry! A nice family dinner on X'mas eve with Xbox Kinect - bonding time with the cousins! I've discovered a way to lose weight effectively! Midnight mass at the good ol' trinity. I miss that place.

I love our X'mas traditions where we put in effort to make each other pretty and heartwarming Christmas cards. a lot of effort goes into our handmade gifts and I'm really glad we do these little things to show that we care. And guess what, I've got tickets to go see Wicked! ;)
Today, it's family time over at his place! Ah, more good food and good and company...


xx

It really isn't all that difficult to love

"Love isn’t as complicated as we make it out to be. It’s the most simple, most elemental, most pure, most beautiful feeling, emotion, thingamajig, whatever you want to call it that beats in our hearts.

Unfortunately, it’s also the most intangible sentiment. We can’t quantify it. Your ‘I love you so much’ could be so much less than my ‘I love you so much’ and there’s no way to prove who loves who more and therein lies the whole fucking problem.

We’re never happy with how we’re loved. We complicate things. We make things difficult. We expect too much. We receive too little. We can’t accept that so we prod and push and ask for more and when we don’t get what we want, we question their love and affection because they don’t love us the way we love them. They don’t love us the way we were told they should. They don’t love us the way we want to be loved and we don’t believe anymore. We lose faith. We allow ourselves to be consumed by hatred, by anger, by desire, by greed, by anxiety, by insecurity and we give up even before we try.

It really isn’t all that difficult to love. We just have to love unconditionally, love selflessly, love altruistically, love acceptingly. We just have to love them the way we can, the way we know how and allow them to love us the way they can, the way they know how. We just have to love loving them and love them loving us."

♥

Merry Christmas Eve everyone!

Twirlin' times

Lace & Ebony

Here's the preview pictures! I really liked how the photos turned out this time - all thanks to my really supportive photographer/do-it-all man who has helped and supported me throughout this. I kept a few items + all the accessories for myself. Surprisingly, the necklace goes on really well with a lot of my outfits. Especially if I want to make it more dressy. So go go shop, http://laceandebony.com and support! 
I think I've reached a point in my life when I realised that all I want is to be happy. The kind of happiness that material goods can never match up to. Not to say that money can't buy happiness, or a Balenciaga bag wouldn't make me happy... but honestly, I really want to be happy, content, and to be at peace.

xx  

Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.

A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. “Never leave that till tomorrow,” he said, “Which you can do today.” This is the man who discovered electricity. You’d think more of us would listen to what he had to say. I don’t know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I’d say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure. Fear of pain. Fear of rejection. Sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you’re wrong? What if you make a mistake you can’t undo? Whatever it is we're afraid of, one thing holds true: that by the time the pain of not doing the thing gets worse than the fear of doing it, it can feel like we're carrying around a giant tumor. 

The early bird catches the worm; a stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we haven't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to ‘seize the day'. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore, until we finally understand for ourselves like Benjamin Franklin meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping. And that even the biggest failure, even the worst most intractable mistake beats the hell out of never trying.

- Grey's Anatomy 

I still love you anyway.

Yesterday I stumbled upon a phrase in a book that has guided me for many years now. Someone gave me that book, and told me to pray and read it, for my answers and guidance lies inside. And I did. I prayed, opened up to a random page, and read. It sounds like the bible but it's not. I would share it if anyone asks, but I'd rather not share something too religious here. After reading and more praying, I felt this calmness overcome me, making me lucid. For days I've been going through a lot of turmoil and agony that made my heart physically ache, but when I entirely turned myself in to Him, it felt so relieving. 

Today I woke up and even as the pain plagues me, constricting my chest, I know that I need to trust in His plans more than ever. For the past few months, I've been fighting fate. And I've also opened my eyes to the man in my life. The good and bad characteristics you carry, the man you truly are. So they say, if you love someone, you've got to accept his/her good and bad traits. This has never felt more relevant. It doesn't only apply to bad habits, his pet peeves. It carries on to loving him when he is selfish, loving him when he has hurt you to the point of no salvation. Of course there is a fine line between being a lover and a fool. It's up to the individual to discern and judge. 

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.

1 Corinthians 13: 4-8

This has been my favourite love phrase from the bible. I've always loved it since I heard it during my secondary school days. I always knew that this phrase would shape the way I love someone. But I have never once carried out what this phrase is about until... now. This is also why I am staying.

My friends have been nothing but amazing - my great support system. I can't say how grateful I am to have people coming up to me because I would usually sit it out alone and not approach anyone. So without their wonderful initiative, I would never have shared and let so much pain out of me. I appreciate all the texts, whatsapps, chats. I really really do. All the advice, experiences shared, really helped me to decide on what to do. And I'm more than honoured that you are willing to share the painful parts of your life with me... Thank you all. ♥

Heartless

I believe in giving my all into building a relationship with a man. A strong relationship that can last. A strong relationship not built on the fact that he is willing to sacrifice me. That choice is given to you for a reason. You chose otherwise. Painful as it may be for you, difficult as it was for you to come to this decision, ultimately you made that choice. And as we go on, I have to live with that choice. That decision you made to sacrifice me. Assuming that we managed through this... what's to assure me that I am not just a part of your life that is dispensable, a part you're willing to cut off for your own selfish gains. If I were to chose to carry on, I need to see for myself that you don't use your words to tell me that you love me. I cannot believe in a selfish man to love in good times and bad times, in sickness and in health. For he, is only going to love me through the good times.

I believe that a good relationship doesn't constitute taking advantage of each other. Nor does it mean stepping on each other so you can get over to the other side. For their own good. I believe in loving a man who after seeing me break my heart, bawl my eyes out, be in agony and a constant mess, to find a way, any way at all to ease the pain. 

I don't believe that I can live with someone who puts me under so much pain, watch me as I go through so much pain, and insist on putting me through so much pain despite knowing all that. Pain is sometimes good, pain is sometimes necessary. But there's a fine line between doing things for my own good and doing things at my expense.

A relationship requires two to clap, as cliche as it may be. I believe in compromising. But when you insist on being selfish, you give me doubts on what you truly want this to be about. You believe and insist that going through this test (not this current situation) would make us stronger. Citing this as one of the reason why you chose to go ahead with the decision that I have extreme opinions for. I don't dispute that going through it will make us stronger. But choosing one of my extremities and making me kill myself going through it is the kind of test you want to force upon us. I don't believe in you exerting your views on me and in the light of all that you've shown me, the gaps in your morals leave me questioning if this is the man I want to take me through life. And on top of it all, it saddens me to know you use such shabby lies to comfort yourself that your selfish decision is truly the best for us. Because you never once thought and considered what's best for me, let alone us.

Denial is the next best medicine

I apologize for the sad quotes and images. It really isn't very nice if I start blogging with happy pictures and sound happy when I'm not. I hope that my blog would be a true reflection of myself, happy or sad, when my life is up, or down. I don't know how long we will stay in this limbo, nor how long this hurt is going to linger. But for now Debbie is right. Denial is the next best medicine that I can give to myself. My alcohol so I can breathe, forget, and go on. When the hangover comes it's going to get me good, but for now, I just want to breathe and pretend that everything is okay...

Time will tell.

I die a little everyday knowing the decision you would make, even if you had the choice.


My heart aches for the promising relationship that went up in flames. All that's left are the ashes that scatter. People often provide an analogy of a glass to a heart. Something once broken can never be fixed back. But you know that if the pieces are big enough, you'll find some way to fix it back together, though it can never go back to how pristine it once looked, you'll still get back your heart. When I realised what the words you uttered mean, my whole world could never go back to what it used to be. Ashes are all that remains. You can never mend it back.

The heart aches for days and more to come. The mornings when you just wake, and the moments at night just before bed are the worst periods I have to endure. Every morning is another nightmare, and every night I have to fight the painful thoughts. I run away from every thought that relates to it yet it doesn't conceal that fact that the heart knows why it has to ache. It feels like it's been computed into my subconscious and wouldn't go away.

Will we really be happy compromising? We both fear that if one of us step down and give in to the other, the future will be conflicted and what if we don't eventually work out? Wouldn't all that we have sacrificed come to naught? We hold on to the fear, hold on to our stakes not wanting to take that risk. No one can guarantee happiness. Both are selfish decisions, and both of us are not relenting. Then what can we do? I can't believe in the man you build me up to believe, the very same man that wants me to believe that as much as he loves me, he wants to sacrifice me.

Time will tell? Perhaps...

Lace & Ebony

Our first time trying Coldstone Creamery after all the hype about them. The queue was crazy long but we decided to join in. I love all the flavours (they sound so good!!) and look at all the colors! 






Mixing our order! :)







And here it is! Our cheesecake ice-cream combo... which I totally forgot what it's called. I loved what they mixed it there. Berries, graham, and cheesecake flavoured ice-cream. I didn't fancy the overwhelming cream flavour in the cheesecake, but it's still a really good combination and absolutely worth us queuing >10 mins.






Brunch date @ Forlino
G and I grabbed a coupon deal for a brunch at Forlino. I went there twice actually. One with Debbie 2 weeks ago but we only got pictures of the food! ;) I especially love the decor of the area leading up to the restaurant, but when I actually entered the restaurant, it definitely looks a lot more duller than the walkway. Food wise? The appetisers scored! Parma ham & melon, foie gras, crab cake, and the pasta, what's not to like. We felt that the main courses were a bit disappointing. Debbie and I had the beef cheeks and mashed potato. It was good but the sauce wasn't complimenting the dish. G and I had the duck and the halibut fish. Both were just passable. The dessert saved the day with our favourite chocolate lava cake, yums. Less words, more pictures!!
 
 
 
 
This dress is from Lace & Ebony's debut collection! Preview pictures are not up yet so... hehe sneak peeks here! This dress comes with pockets and I love how versatile this dress can be styled. For dress-up dates or casual outings!
 
























































Anyway, if you like this dress (comes in a lovely shade of orange and hot pink), stay tune to Lace & Ebony updates here:FB: http://www.facebook.com/laceandebonyTwitter: https://twitter.com/LaceandebonyWebsite: http://laceandebony.com

&&& of course there's an ongoing launch contest!Share, tweet about Lace & Ebony and stand a chance to win this

OPI Muppets Mini Nail Polish set. Lovely colours for this holiday season!

More details here on our FB page - remember to "LIKE" it!