Wednesday, December 14, 2011

I still love you anyway.

Yesterday I stumbled upon a phrase in a book that has guided me for many years now. Someone gave me that book, and told me to pray and read it, for my answers and guidance lies inside. And I did. I prayed, opened up to a random page, and read. It sounds like the bible but it's not. I would share it if anyone asks, but I'd rather not share something too religious here. After reading and more praying, I felt this calmness overcome me, making me lucid. For days I've been going through a lot of turmoil and agony that made my heart physically ache, but when I entirely turned myself in to Him, it felt so relieving. 

Today I woke up and even as the pain plagues me, constricting my chest, I know that I need to trust in His plans more than ever. For the past few months, I've been fighting fate. And I've also opened my eyes to the man in my life. The good and bad characteristics you carry, the man you truly are. So they say, if you love someone, you've got to accept his/her good and bad traits. This has never felt more relevant. It doesn't only apply to bad habits, his pet peeves. It carries on to loving him when he is selfish, loving him when he has hurt you to the point of no salvation. Of course there is a fine line between being a lover and a fool. It's up to the individual to discern and judge. 


Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.

1 Corinthians 13: 4-8


This has been my favourite love phrase from the bible. I've always loved it since I heard it during my secondary school days. I always knew that this phrase would shape the way I love someone. But I have never once carried out what this phrase is about until... now. This is also why I am staying.

My friends have been nothing but amazing - my great support system. I can't say how grateful I am to have people coming up to me because I would usually sit it out alone and not approach anyone. So without their wonderful initiative, I would never have shared and let so much pain out of me. I appreciate all the texts, whatsapps, chats. I really really do. All the advice, experiences shared, really helped me to decide on what to do. And I'm more than honoured that you are willing to share the painful parts of your life with me... Thank you all. 

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